Alcoholics Anonymous – Big Book: Chapter 5 – How It Works p. 64
“Though our decision (to stop our drinking with this program of recovery – my words) was a vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking us. Our liquor was but a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions. Therefore, we started upon a personal inventory. This was Step Four.”
I say all the time that I can do Steps 1, 2 and 3 every day all day, however Step Four has always been the hardest for me and now I am about to embark on it again because, I know that since 2016 when I turned 50 and removed 2 1/2 years of sobriety and began the vicious cycle of chronic relapses and forays into recovery, that I have a lot to inventory and take accountability for. It will be hard and I am sure I will sad, angry and even hurt by what has to put down on paper, but I also know that when it is done – I will be further along in my journey to sustained recovery.
Big Book Personal Stories Part III – Freedom from Bondage p. 544
I relate so much to the first two paragraphs of this personal story from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous linked above. I guarantee you that if in my teens or early twenties I had been diagnosed as bipolar with tendencies to have bouts of depression, I don’t know that I would have been as prone to have the issues with alcoholism and addiction to cocaine that I have struggled with so much intermittently in my 30’s, 40’s and now early in my 50’s. Then again, Maybe I would have. As I always say, I am forever a work in progress!!!
That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage”, thanks for stopping by!!
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. – Chapter 5 “How It Works” – The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous – Fourth Edition, p. 58
When I attend a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, whether face to face or an online meeting with Global Steps AA on In The Rooms an online meeting place, I love having the opportunity to read “How It Works”. This important reading is an important reminder that yes I can continue on my journey of recovery if I am rigorously honest with myself and others regarding my alcoholism and addiction to cocaine. That being said, life can happen so often that the rigorous honesty can and will take a back seat which in turn will cause either slips or full relapses. I have had both happen.
When a slip or full relapse happens, it is normally caused by my own inability to deal with whatever life has been dealing me. I am ever reminded that all I have to do to deal with life’s dealings is to get into a meeting or two, three or four on any given day to be reminded by my fellows tat yes – rarely have we seen a person fail in our program if they are rigorously honest with themselves and others. I am truly blessed to call Alcoholics Anonymous my group that keeps me honest so that I am not one of those rare cases.
That’s what’s in “My Rattled Cage” today, thanks for stopping by!!!