All posts by myrattledcage

I am a very proud gay man that has been living with HIV/AIDS for over 22 years. During this time my life has changed in so many ways some for the worst but mostly for the better. During those 22 years I managed to get both my Bachelor of Arts in Communication with concentrations in Public Relations and Technical Communication and my Master of Arts in Communication from The University of Texas at San Antonio. I also gained and have kept a loving partner for 18 years and we now live with our five dogs in the order they arrived at our home – Crissy, Zailey, Little Bitty, Sadie and Stitchy! I am so blessed with a most loving family to include my two sisters and their husbands; my three nieces and their respective husbands or boyfriends, and four of the most adorable great nieces and great nephew that a great-uncle could ever have. My interests include cooking, reading, playing with my dogs, and of course making sure that I am as healthy as possible after many years of being an alcoholic and addict. Yes, I am very open and honest about myself and you never know what you will read on “My Rattled Cage”!!!!

#1LinerWeds – all things new

For today’s #1LinerWeds I have just one thing to say.

My Higher Power continues to make ALL THINGS NEW in me!!!!

Please enjoy this live version of Anthony Evans’ “All Things New” That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

#SLS 5/17/20 – 180

song-lyric-sunday

This week Jim has given us the prompt of finding a song that includes a number for #SLS.

In many of my other posts I have written about my strong Catholic Faith along with many other aspects of my personal life. Today I have chosen a song by Jordan Feliz called “180”.  It is song about an individual asking for God to assist him in doing a 180 degree turnaround in their life and returning to remain in their faith.

This happens a lot to individuals like myself who suffer from the disease of alcoholism or any other addiction problems. But in order for a person to truly make that 180 degree turnaround they must truly do the work and have faith in a Higher Power that will be there through the good and the bad. I have truly turned my will back over to my Higher Power whom I choose to call God and I am happy that the 180 degree turnaround is happening in me and I am truly loving life and myself today.

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Lyrics
Father, can You hear me now?
I’m feeling like I’ve let You down
I’ve lost the strength to turn myself around
I really hope You hear me now
How’d I get so far away?
What if I outrun Your grace?
Can You replace these broken yesterdays?
And promise me I’m not too late
Call me home, I want to be Your own
I’m running desperately into Your arms where I belong
And I know Your love can turn this heart
A hundred and eighty degrees to bring me back to where You are
Tell me I am welcomed in
Show me mercy doesn’t end
Wash these muddy stains that marked my skin
And tell me I can start again
Call me home, I want to be Your own
I’m running desperately into Your arms where I belong
And I know Your love can turn this heart
A hundred and eighty degrees to bring me back to where You are
I can barely believe it
You’re racing to meet me
Your eyes filled with healing, oh
Restoring, redeeming
Forgiving, receiving
This is my beginning, oh
Call me home, I want to be Your own
I’m running desperately into Your arms where I belong (I belong)
And I know Your love can turn this heart
A hundred and eighty degrees to bring me back to where You are
I’m running desperately, ooh
A hundred and eighty degrees, I’m back to where You are
A hundred and eighty degrees
Source: Musixmatch
Songwriters: Colby Wedgeworth

A Little Late #SoCS – Want

socs-badge-2019-2020

This post is part of #SoCS for Saturday 5/16/20 and the prompt is “WANT”.

Want to know what’s in My Rattled Cage? Today I just want to share that this has been a great week. Last week I wanted my trip to my birthplace, which was also the birthplace of  our 33rd president Harry S. TrumanLamar, Missouri to go off without a hitch and it did perfectly. I want to share some pictures from that trip for which the main purpose was for me to place flowers on the graves of my mother who passed on Mother’s Day May 10th, 1998 as well as my grandmothers Ruby who passed at the age of 99 on November 2, 2012 and Wanda who passed at the age of 89 on February 11, 2013. I also placed flowers on my brother Dale Jr’s grave he passed when I was a little over three months old. I also placed flowers on my grandfathers and uncles’ graves as well.

After visiting the graveyards I drove a short drive into Pittsburg, Kansas to eat at a family favorite and tradition Chicken Mary’s. Chicken Mary’s and Chicken Annie’s were featured on the Travel Channels Food Wars Season 1, Episode 3  – Kansas Fried Chicken War. I include the link to the episode; you may have to sign in with you cable service provider to watch. I will not spoil it for you as to which restaurant one the war. My Grand ma Ruby was always a Chicken Annie’s Fan which is located one block away from Chicken Mary’s. My Grandma Wand and our family have always been fans of Chicken Mary’s and a trip to Lamar, Missouri isn’t complete until you have been to Chicken Mary’s.

When I started my trip, my mileage was at 754 and when I returned on Monday the mileage sat 2335.  I have not shared pictures of my new car because I am still pinching myself as I cannot still believe that I am driving a 2020 Mitsubishi Mirage, so I want to share those as well.

The pictures below are in the order that I took them on my trip as I documented my journey. For me this trip was a rite of passage as I have never driven up. I have always flown, taken the Greyhound or ridden with my sister.

Now I will share pictures of my new car the red detail is what sold me on this car. I thought it was so different. That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

Happy Mother’s Day!!! – 5/10/20

HappyMothersDay20

Today I write this post from my birthplace, Lamar, Missouri. I drove up yesterday so that I could lay flowers at my mother’s grave who passed 22 years ago today on May 10, 1998 which just so happened to be Mother’s Day.

This trip was one I needed to take because I have never been at my mother’s grave alone and so I have never had the chance to have a long conversation with her and tell her that I no longer blame her for all the things that happened to me as I was growing up nor for the choices that I have made as an adult. I have always held resentments towards her and my father because they did not know how to raise or handle a boy. I used to think they never wanted a boy.  I now truly believe my parents did the best they could with who they were and what they had.

I currently have a sobriety date of January 4, 2020. I can say that I see a definite change in my attitudes towards my resentments towards my parents, even my resentments towards myself in regards to my struggles with relapses and journeys into recovery from alcoholism and addiction to cocaine. While yes I do have the genetic gene I believe for alcoholism and other addictive behaviors, I am at a point now where I have turned everything over to my Higher Power whom I choose to call God. I am already beginning to see differences in my mental attitudes and my spirituality is just growing even stronger.

As long as I remember daily that I cannot drink like other people and I cannot pick up that first drink ever, then I will also remember that recovery is a JUST FOR TODAY program. I only have to live my life in recovery ONE DAY AT A TIME!! So, I have let go and I am letting God guide me for His will to be done daily and not my own. I am seeing those 9th Step Promises coming true!!

That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!

#SLS 5/10/20 – Together

song-lyric-sunday
So, Jim has given us the prompts of Couple/Together/Us for this week’s #SLS. I have chosen Sonny and Cher’s You and I.  I love this song because of the message. Even thought Sonny and Cher divorced they stayed very good friends and kept grooving together!!!! That’s what’s in My Rattled Cage, thanks for stopping by!!!

Lyrics
Baby, here we are,
Waiting here for time, to play the game
Let love steal us away.
Baby here I am, holding charts
To guide us through the storm,
To a brighter day
You and I will be together,
Many lessons, learned–Oh Baby.
From a past, that’s live too many lies.
Yesterday is gone forever–Oh Baby,
All that I can see–
You and I living together
Just, you and I groovin’ forever–
Trusting every word,
Just to mean, what has been handed down,
In time.
We’ve known hurt before.
Masters of my dreams,
Create a place to feel this love of mine–
And never hurt no more–
You and I living together
Just, you and I groovin’ forever–
We must trust the dark,
For showing us the stars.
We must trust the rain,
And open up our hearts.
Just, you and I living together.
You and I groovin’ forever.
Source: LyricFind
Songwriters: David Foster / Maurice White / Allee Willis
You And I lyrics © Universal Music Publishing Group, Sony/ATV Music Publishing LLC